Redemption
by sv4me
Summary: The Black Widow has red in her ledger. In an attempt to wipe some of it out, she gave out 'markers' to her victims or their families, to be called in at will. Clint has one. Just how can his marker be redeemed? Multi-chapter but short. Rated 'T' for sexiness (no sex) and swearing.
1. Chapter 1

"**Redemption"**

**Summary: Natasha gave out markers to people she had hurt in the past. Clint has one. Hmm.**

**A/N: So duh I wrote this after reading Avengers Assemble #13, which is AWESOME! If you don't have it go buy it NOW, and email DeConnick & tell her how awesome she and how much you love that she started the teasing between Clint & Natasha & that we eventually want these two to end up together! & obviously I don't own the characters. As always, DeConnick, Fraction, Spencer, Marvel people, you want my story, it's yours, for FREE! As long as you use it for a Clint & Natasha romance/partnership/friendship/etc, that is ;)**

**Rated T for sexiness (no sex) and swearing**

xxxxxxxxxx

_flashback – yesterday_

_Clint left his bathroom in just his boxers. Kate was grateful for that much, at least. He'd showered after another long day of getting his ass kicked and went straight to his fridge. He grabbed a beer and went into his room._

_Kate waited, and contemplated her 'mentor.' For a hero and an Avenger he sure could let his guard down at times. He walked out of his bedroom, something in his hand. He kept his eyes on whatever it was as he walked over to a window in his living area. The one that had a view of Avengers tower. _

_He rested there, his hands on the window sill, as he gazed into the night. Never knowing him to be particularly contemplative, his behavior made Kate a bit concerned. He sighed, and looked down to one hand again. He looked at the item, then started tossing it into the air._

_No, flipping it, like a coin. She focused her gaze. It was a coin. A dark coin with some kind of red marking…_

_Curiosity getting the best of her, she stood and made her way to the almost-naked archer as quietly as she could. Lucky helped her out, standing as she did, and trotting over to his master, his noise possibly covering up any she was making. He looked down at the dog who now sat at his feet just in time to see movement out of the corner of his eye. _

_She snatched the 'coin' mid-air as he flipped it, but he caught her arm and flipped her over onto her back hard. His other hand was already raised, ready to crash down on her face when recognition hit him._

"_Damnit Kate, don't sneak up on me!"_

"_Well be more observant, _HAWKEYE," _she hissed, then held the 'coin' up. "What's this?"_

_He snatched it back from her. "Nothing," he spat as he stood and headed back to his room, intent on some clothing._

_Kate rose and crossed her arms, waiting as he dressed. "If it's nothing then why does it have the Widow's mark on it?"_

"_That," he said as he emerged from his room dressed and carrying two bows, "is none of your damn business."_

_She looked at the bows. They were new. One was her size. "Oh no you don't. You're not bribing me out of this information, Hawkeye…"_

_He smiled. "Oh yes I am, my young padawan." _

xxxxxxxxxx

"So, just what is it between you and Clint?" No one ever said Kate Bishop wasn't forward.

Natasha held her breath for a moment. "Excuse me?"

"You know, your history. He says you two have history. What is it?"

She took a sip of her drink, feigning non-chalance. "If Clint didn't want to explain it to you why do you think I do?"

"Because Clint's well, Clint. You seem more, reasonable."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Flattery won't get you anywhere, Hawkeye. Besides, you know that I'm a private person."

Kate looked down. "Could I try guilt? I was just kind of hoping to understand both you guys better, you know, bond a little…"

Natasha looked over at her partner's protégé. She wasn't lying at least, and she'd become such a big part of Clint's life…

"I promise not to tell anyone."

Natasha squinted her eyes. "Have you ever been tortured for information before?"

"Wha… why would you need to know that?"

The Black Widow grinned. "No reason. Sit down."

A grin formed over Kate's face as she sat down on the couch. Lucky followed and sat at her feet.

"Back when I was still working for the KGB and under the control of the Red Room, I… used Clint, to try and complete a mission. When my handlers deemed the mission a failure they called me home and I left, without saying goodbye."

"So what? What was the big deal?"

Natasha looked down. "By using him I mean, I…"

"Oh, ok. You didn't get the name 'Black Widow' for nothing, right?"

"Right. I seduced him, manipulated him, caused him to fall in love with me. I used him for my mission objective and left him when it was deemed he was no longer of use. I…"

"You broke his heart."

"… that's not really for me to say, Kate."

The Young Avenger looked out into the distance. "Wow. So, you were like his first love then. Crazy. No wonder he can't forget…"

"Be careful where your thoughts take you, Kate. It's far more complex than you realize."

"Yeah… ok. Shut my mouth, I get it." Kate rose, to leave, picking up her bow on the way out. "But Natasha, I think you of all people should realize that _some_ emotions really aren't all that complicated."

_If only she was right._

Or was she?

All those years ago she had wanted to stay. Part of her had wanted to run away with this cocky American archer and never be found again. But another part still wanted the pride of being the Black Widow, the motherland's best weapon. Another part feared for her and Clint's lives should she leave. So, she did what she was trained to do. She did what came natural.

She shut down her heart and left.

She sighed. It was a nasty pattern with him she still hadn't been able to completely kick.

She valued their friendship and partnership too much, she told herself. It wasn't worth risking with romance, she told herself. He would be happier with someone else, she told herself.

But there are only so many lies one could think of until one's own heart got suspicious…

xxxxxxxxxx

_Flashback: (I'm thinking maybe after a 'future' Secret Avengers mission). _

_She was lying in a hospital bed. Where was she? She kept her eyes closed in case she had been apprehended. _

_She noticed the smells and sounds confirming her location, but no more. Then she heard a shouting in the hall outside. A scuffle. More male shouting. Heavy footsteps retreating. _

_Silence._

_Then soft footsteps approaching. The door opened. She controlled her heart rate and breathing. The person stopped at her bedside for a moment, then she felt a rough hand on hers._

"_Tasha…" She relaxed. She knew that voice. She was safe._

"_Please, don't ever do that to me again…"_

_Hmm. She must have gotten hurt somehow. But when she tried to think of how it was all fuzzy…_

_His other hand brushed her cheek. "Please tell me you're going to be ok…"_

_Taking a deep breath she tried to open her eyes a little. They were heavy, and not yet moving._

"_I need you Nat, please…"_

_She tried again, and opened her mouth. "Clint…"_

"… _I love you."_

_NOW here eyes were open. _

"…_wh… what?" _

_He looked horrified. She'd been able to act unconscious far TOO well. This was NOT something he'd planned on saying to her while she was conscious. Not yet at least. And for good reason._

"…_I … um, you…"_

_She panicked. She can't be dealing with this now. "Get out." _

"_But… Nat…"_

_She turned her head away to hide the tears forming in the sides of her eyes. She spoke softer now. "Barton, please just… leave."_

_Her hand burned when he moved his away and her heart screamed for him to stay as he silently shut the door behind him. She cried into her pillow until she could find sleep again._

_The next morning Clint returned with flowers and an apology speech prepared. He even rehearsed it in his head on the way. "You know I didn't mean it like THAT, Tasha. It's just, I thought you were going to die, and, you're the closest thing I have to family anymore, and…"_

_When he opened her door he found the window opened and the Widow gone. _

_He sighed. "Fury's gonna be pissed…"_

xxxxxxxxxx

She'd avoided him for _months_ after that, trying to do different missions and keeping things cold and professional when they did have to work together.

She'd run away. Again.

Was that it? She was just afraid of this, _thing_ she and Clint shared? She'd overcome the Red Room, countless villains with the Avengers, even done all she could to make up for the sins of her past, and yet she couldn't face her own partner?

Eventually she'd made her way back into his life, slowly, to avoid whiplash. He'd picked up with the old banter, and she felt at home again. Her heart relaxed, and felt content.

Until he cornered her.

They were having a nice evening together. An honest-to-god nice, relaxing evening.

They'd gone climbing at a local rock gym during the day and were relaxing at his apartment with some pizza, beer, and a nice vodka from her private stash. She'd brought a comedy to watch, and she hadn't felt so relaxed in a long time.

Then Clint dropped the bomb.

Or, more precisely, his marker.

She stared at the red and black chip as it spun and then settled on the coffee table.

She whispered, _"is that what I think it is?"_

He looked at her with intense eyes. "I'm here to redeem my marker, Natasha Romanov."

She paled. Her breathing and heart rate spiked. She looked back at him, fear in her eyes.

She opened her mouth, then closed it. She just couldn't find the words.

She swallowed. "What… do you want, Clint?"

He answered, taking her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. She opened her mouth to him and he took full advantage. His hands slid over her arms, her waist, her hips…

Then she was moving, not breaking the kiss, moving onto his lap. He moaned into her mouth as she settled on him, fisting his hair in her hands. She arched her head back as he started kissing down her neck.

"God Tasha, I've waited so long…"

She froze in his arms as her brain starting working again. All the old lies flooded her thoughts. She couldn't do this, it would ruin everything, what if it didn't work out, he was too good of a friend, she wasn't good enough for him, someone else would be able to give him everything he wanted…

He paused, sensing her hesitation. "Tash?"

"I…" she moved off of him and back onto the couch. She looked down at the marker, avoiding his eyes. "…what do you need, Clint? How… _how do you want to redeem the marker_?"

He stood, and started to pace. "God, Tash, not like that. I'm not asking for sex. I just…" He frowned when she still avoided his eyes. He gently took her chin in his hand, bringing her eyes to his.

"I need some help, Nat."

She furrowed her brows a little. "Okay?"

He took a deep breath. "Okay. You see, there's this amazing woman I know, and… we've had some rough times in the past, some bad history, but she's always been there when I needed her. She's my best friend and partner and I love her and I trust her with my life."

He looked back to see a deer in headlights. _Oh boy._

"But, you see, I don't know what she feels about me. I keep getting all these mixed signals from her, and it's like I can see her reaction to me but then she shuts it down."

Natasha lowered her head. He really did know her _too_ well.

"Natasha, I… I need your help. I need to know how she feels. What she's really feeling, what's really going on in that head of hers."

He kneeled down next to her, speaking softer now. "Tash, I need to know how you feel about me. If this… if we… if you could consider loving me?"

She wanted to take him in her arms right then and there, to kiss him breathless and make him forget his own name, but the fear battled hard with her heart long enough for the old training to awaken.

She hardened her entire body, and he noticed.

She stood and starting walking towards the door without another word. He rushed after her, and grabbed her arm.

"NO! You're not doing that AGAIN! You don't get to run away from me all over again!"

"Clint I…" she looked up at him, tears escaping her eyes, "… I just, can't…"

He melted. He released her and sighed, pacing the floor some and rubbing one hand through his hair.

"Shit Nat, I…"

"No Clint, it's me. I'm a mess. Even still. I OWE you an explanation, an answer, at the VERY least, but I just can't . Not yet. Please…"

He shook his head. "It's my fault. I got impatient. I mean, you only recently got your memories of Bucky back…"

His cell phone rang, then hers. They were needed aboard the Hellicarrier. Pick up in 30.

"I gotta go get my stuff Clint…"

"Yeah. Okay," he murmured, flipping the marker then catching it again. A sly grin spread across his face. "You get a pass for now, Natasha. But I'm keeping this little guy on me at all times from now on, and I'm going to call up my debt sooner or later…"

She exhaled a deep breath, then walked back to him. "I know. And I'll try to figure things out so I can actually answer you with the truth."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

A small smile formed on her lips. "Really." She gently pressed her lips to his.

He stood stunned as she walked out the door. "See you in 30."

**THANK YOU to my betas …! Please review if you have a moment. **

**& don't forget to tell Marvel that you want Clint & Natasha to end up together in the movies AND the comics! Post on the marvel . com forums and email: mheroes marvel . com**

**Also, I have a big idea for a ton of stories or a series about the redemption of these markers. I say DeConnick should write a Black Widow mini-series with the idea. She's allowed to use ANY of my stuff for that purpose **** (not that she needs it, but when the muse speaks, one must listen). I already have a rough outline! It'll probably be several one-shots that I'll eventually put together into a series. That seems to be working for my muse right now. Don't forget to 'follow' me so you'll get every new story! **


	2. part 2

"**Redemption, pt. 2"**

**Summary: Natasha gave out markers to people she had hurt in the past. Clint has one. Hmm.**

**A/N: So, this story was supposed to be a one-shot then I thought of an idea to add. I wanted Natasha to have this conversation with someone & not just in her head (I wrote it in her head for another upcoming story) and I couldn't think of a better person for her to talk with than Kate Bishop.**

**As always I don't own the characters or Marvel (bummer) but if any Marvel people, like DeConnick, Fraction, Spencer, etc want my story/dialogue/whatever to use in a comic, it's all yours for free! Just as long as it's used for a Clint & Natasha romance/partnership/friendship/etc, & not adapted for different characters.**

**Rated T to be safe (there's probably cursing in here somewhere)**

**PS, I hope to post the next chapter for Avengers: Fanfiction next Friday.**

Last time:

His cell phone rang, then hers. They were needed aboard the Hellicarrier. Pick up in 30.

"I gotta go get my stuff Clint…"

"Yeah. Okay," he murmered, flipping the marker then catching it again. A sly grin spread across his face. "You get a pass for now, Natasha. But I'm keeping this little guy on me at all times from now on, and I'm going to call up my debt sooner or later…"

She exhaled a deep breath, then walked back to him. "I know. And I'll try to figure things out so I can actually answer you with the truth."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

A small smile formed on her lips. "Really." She gently pressed her lips to his.

He stood stunned as she walked out the door. "See you in 30."

xxxxxxxxxx

Shit happened. Black Widow and Hawkeye went on secret missions they weren't allowed to remember. They Avenged, and helped save the world a few times.

Finally, there was a break in the constant end-of-all-existence danger.

Clint collapsed on his couch, ready for a DVR marathon of all the shows he'd missed.

Natasha curled up with a book on her favorite chair, the one next to a huge window with an excellent view of New York. It was view that included a slight visual of Clint's apartment building.

After what seemed like hours of trying to read the same page Natasha left the tower. She wandered through the streets of New York, amongst the construction crews and families out for dinner. The city was in a constant state of rebuilding these days, but the spirit was still there.

She picked up her pace when she realized her feet had been taking her in a particular direction. Several blocks later Clint's building came into view.

xxxxx

Kate answered the door. "Barton's out. But you're welcome to come in, he should be back soon."

Natasha wasn't so sure. Clint trusted Kate but the girl had a tendency to be a bit overprotective of her mentor. Kate had got wind that there was something going on between Clint and Natasha and she was not likely to let the issue lay as long as it went unresolved.

But Natasha… needed to see her partner. They could leave again, just the two of them, after he got back. She flattened her expression and walked in. At least she could try to be proactive and focus Kate's thoughts in a different direction. As Kate appeared to be wearing some kind of purple track suit, she took that route.

"Laundry day today, Kate?"

"Ha-ha, very funny Romanoff." Natasha almost rolled her eyes. The teen had picked up some of Clint's nicknames for her, and this was just the beginning.

"But I thought you were Clint's version of Pepper Potts?"

Kate snorted. "Yeah, if by that you mean I _try_ to keep him out of trouble, then yes. House chores? No."

That was obvious enough from the lack of cleanliness of the apartment. Bachelor pad indeed.

Natasha went to scratch Lucky's head. "Surely he has someone keep track of this guy?"

Kate shifted her weight from one foot to another. Her eyebrows were scrunched up in thought and she was looking down. _Just great_, thought Natasha. _She's got something on her mind._

The Black Widow signed. "Out with it,Bishop."

"What's with the coin?"

Natasha tilted her head to the side in a question. "Sorry?"

"You know, the black coin with your mark on it. Clint was playing with it the other day. What's with that thing?

Natasha's face dropped. God, she didn't want to talk about that now.

But admitting to her past was part of her penance.

"Well, you know that Clint and I have some bad history. He wasn't the only one, Kate. I hurt many people, killed people. A while ago I gave out the markers as a way to make up for my old sins. When I get a marker, I go and do what they need done."

"And Clint has one of these?"

"He has one of the last ones."

"But, why? Why does he still have it? Haven't you saved his ass more than a few times over the years?"

Natasha smiled. "Yes. Maybe not as much as you," Kate rolled her eyes at that one, "but that's not what the debt was for."

Suddenly feeling talkative, Natasha bit her lip, not sure how to go forward. She tried.

"I've spent a good portion of my life making up for the wrongs I've done, but none more than him. We've saved each other more times that we can count, and we've lost track. But my debt to him remains unpaid. It can never be repaid."

Kate looked confused. Natasha continued. "How do you repay a broken heart? How do you make right betrayal? I used him. I manipulated him. I made him fall in love with me."

Kate had heard all this before, and Natasha was tempted to stop there, but there was further truth that needed to be told. Even if it was just to one other person. "But when I started feeling something myself," she looked down, a little relieved she'd gone and said it, "I used the excuse of the KGB to run. I ran from him, but really I was running from myself. From losing control. From falling in love."

As Natasha turned back to Kate, her eyes steeled. "His debt can never be fully repaid. It's a debt I owe to us both, for denying what was there, and what could have been." She turned and walked to the window, looking out at the city. "Such a debt cannot be repaid."

"Can't it?" Natasha didn't move at Kate's question, and the young archer started regretting asking it. Kate looked down, a bit unsure of herself. She and Natasha had been getting to know each other a little better lately, thanks to Clint, but the Black Widow was still a dangerous person she didn't want to offend. Kate took a breath and went for it.

"But what if you're denying what's here _now_?"

Natasha remained still.

"…wouldn't that be worse? To deny what still _could_ be?"

The Black Widow set her jaw. "I can't give him what he wants, Kate."

Kate furrowed her brow, and walked towards Natasha. "I don't…"

"You don't have to understand. Clint deserves the American dream. The whole fairy tale. Wife, kids, dog," Lucky raised his head, "white picket fence. I can't give it to him."

They stood in silence for a moment. Kate found the courage to try to speak again.

"I think…" she thought before she started again, choosing her words carefully. "I think you've misread what Clint wants."

Natasha's eyebrow rose in surprise and inquiry. No one knew Barton better than her. Right?

"Or… maybe you're just not able to see it because of how involved you are."

"Spit it out, Kate."

The Young Avenger sighed. "Alright. Clint wants you. As you are. Whether or not…"

Keys being jumbled outside the door snapped the women out of their reverie and they were suddenly very interested in lavishing attention on Lucky, who sat at their feet.

Clint shuffled in, arms full of grocery bags and a pizza box. Lucky trotted over at the smell of fresh pizza. "Don't worry Kate, I got organic apples this time… oh. Hey, Natasha."

She stood from where she had been petting Lucky. "Clint."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yeesh. Here, I'll help with the groceries. Natasha came to see you, after all."

"Uh, thanks." Lucky followed the pizza and Clint walked over to Natasha, who kept a blank look on her face. Clint noticed.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?"

xxxxxxxxxx

**Thank you to my betas What's-that-on-the-wall and biggsxr! Please review if you have a minute! **

**This one may end up being longer, but probably not for a while, it depends on what the ol' muse feels like. I plan on eventually putting a bunch of these one-shots together into a chapter story anyway, with additional connecting material, as most of them are related. Please check out the others. **

**PS, Kelly Sue DeConnick should TOTALLY write a Black Widow mini-series! I can't think of a better writer to take on the strong, yet troubled character, and she could also work with Fraction on weaving a Clintasha romance in through several different titles, including Hawkeye and Avengers Assemble. Wouldn't that just be awesome? Plus they could use ANY of my stuff for free. How about you tell them, if you agree?**


End file.
